Introduction

"A sibling is the lens through which you see your childhood." – Ann Hood

Sibling relationships are among the deepest bonds we form—but they don’t always begin that way. When a new baby arrives, the elder child can feel displaced, confused, or even resentful. This story from storyteller and educator Aarushi shows how empathy and small gestures can nurture a lasting sibling bond.

A Wedding That Sparked Reflection

At a family wedding in Bengaluru, Aarushi observed a telling moment: her cousin Neha asked her 8-year-old daughter, Navya, to keep an eye on her 4-year-old brother, Rohin. Navya frowned and walked away in irritation.

Later, Neha shared something surprising—Navya had once said she wished to “leave Rohin in a jungle.” A shocking statement, but one that revealed deeper emotional wounds.

Understanding Navya’s Emotions

To gently explore Navya’s feelings, Aarushi invited the children to a fun storytelling session. Through stories and gentle prompts, Navya eventually shared what had hurt her most: When Rohin was born and had a health emergency, Navya was sent to stay with her grandparents. At just five years old, she felt forgotten and replaced.

To her, her brother wasn’t just a sibling—he symbolized a sudden loss of her parents’ attention.

Why Older Siblings Feel Left Out

Many older children expect a baby sibling to be a new playmate. Instead, they often face a tired, distracted home. Parents, overwhelmed by the demands of a newborn, may unintentionally overlook the elder child’s needs. When that happens, emotional distance grows.

Unfortunately, instead of offering comfort, adults may scold the elder child or call the younger one “too small to understand,” further deepening the hurt.

Aarushi’s Advice for Parents

1. Start Conversations Early - Prepare the elder child before the baby arrives. Involve them in small decisions, like choosing a toy or helping with the baby's bag.

2. Don’t Overlook the Elder One - Carve out special time daily. Even 10 minutes of reading or cuddling can reassure them that they’re still important.

3. Create Shared Experiences - Involve both siblings in simple activities—games, art, or storytelling. When they work together, bonds begin to form naturally.

4. Acknowledge Their Feelings - Let the elder child express frustration or jealousy. Validate their emotions instead of dismissing them.

5. Make Them Feel Special - Give them a “big sibling” role, like helping feed or sing to the baby. Recognize their efforts with praise or a small reward.

Conclusion

Sibling love isn’t instant—it’s nurtured. When the elder child feels heard, loved, and valued, they learn to extend love to their sibling too.

As Aarushi wisely says, “Only a child who feels truly loved knows how to love as an elder.