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January 7, 2022 How to strengthen the sibling bond

How to strengthen the sibling bond

Do you have a child who loves to sit and read quietly and another one who likes nothing better than loud music, games and constant activities?

Being a Mum of two such kids who have very different interests and temperaments, everyday I feel like a referee, trying to solve their fights be it over a small piece of paper or a piece of cake or the front seat in the car.

But over the years, I have come to realize that conflicts are inevitable. You can’t stop sibling rivalry entirely but you can reduce its frequency for more peace in your home. And these situations need to be looked at, as opportunities to encourage a healthy bond between them. 

Although this is easier said than done, and feels like an uphill task sometimes. But fostering a healthy sibling bond is worth the effort, as this relationship goes a long way in making kids learn from each other and with this half of a mother’s job is done. 

So I’ll share with you the 4 ways of dealing with Sibling Rivalry-

1. STAY CALM AND IN CONTROL

A few years back I used to get really mad when both my kids started fighting and came to me complaining about each other. My impulsive reaction worsened the situation even more. With time, I realized that in such situations I need to keep my cool as that energy got transferred to them as well. So the first thing, take a few deep breaths before you deal with the situation.

2. LISTEN AND RESPECT THE FEELINGS

Let each child speak out her side of the story. Listen to them without judging them. Sometimes while speaking out their problems and differences, they themselves come up with a solution. Isn’t that how even we, grown-ups find solutions to our problems? They cooperate more when they know they are being heard. 

So, listening to the problem and rather than focusing on the aggression, it is better to understand the feeling behind that behaviour. Once the anger episode subsides the kids must be taught some Problem solving tools. 

Put yourself in the Sibling’s Shoe Activity

Encourage kids to come up with some solutions that will be fair for each of them by putting themselves in the sibling’s shoes before giving suggestions. This activity is very important to teach them Empathy.

Importance of working as a team

Tell your children that your family is like a team and the team needs to work together to help create a peaceful atmosphere at home. They will learn selflessness and cooperation. For example, we don’t watch the Sunday movie if we don’t tidy up the house. So if one child finds it hard to tidy up his corner the other one chips in to help and in no time everyone is ready for the movie time. And when they start to have fun together they realize the importance of a team and develop closeness.

Make respect a non-negotiable rule

Explain to your children that hitting each other while having a conflict is absolutely unacceptable. Also encourage them to listen to others opinions and perspectives and respect them too. Parents are role models for their children, so we must show them a good respectful problem solving behaviour to settle conflicts. Children must know that their parents might also have a difference of opinion in certain situations but the way they deal with it is with respect for each other.

3. GIVE QUALITY TIME TO EACH CHILD

One of the reasons for sibling fights is getting attention from the parent, so plan to spend 10-15 minutes of quality time with each child. Make sure that your child is the centre of your universe for these 15 minutes, which means put your phone down, no TV, no gadget to distract you. This time spent with each child will strengthen your bond with them and result in lesser sibling fights. 

4. INVEST IN FUN FAMILY TIME

Playing board games, spending time at the park, doing activities together like going on a trek, hiking, give children the opportunities to share positive memories for a lifetime. Having fun together, they are less likely  to pick fights and hence build a stronger relationship.

Don’t expect your children to be conflict free because they are different, and they will disagree and compete with one another. Just Remember that Conflict provides you training and teaching opportunities. 

Hope this helps you go smooth in your parenting journey.

January 7, 2022 What happens when you start storytelling your womb?

What happens when you start storytelling your womb?

Storytelling is a conscious positive communication that we can establish with our womb as it is said”A baby is something you carry inside for nine months, In your arms for three years and your heart for rest of your life…..so why not make this lifelong bond the long-lasting one.

My journey

When I was pregnant with my second baby I was already reading stories to my elder one, during the end of the second semester the nights used to be very uncomfortable but  I noticed that when I was reading I felt calm and relaxed inside too, that was the time I started digging into benefits of reading stories to an unborn.

Regular reading helped to connect my elder one more to the one inside.

When finally our little one came to the real world, we noticed that she understood the sleep cycle naturally, she used to connect with my voice and my elder one’s voice too. Whenever our little one used to be uncomfortable my elder one used to say stories or rhymes and the baby used to react beautifully.

As our baby started growing we noticed a very special bond with the books we used to read, she was far more expressive than the children of her age. I never had to struggle to make her read it came naturally.

How stories help the womb?

  • Stories help to stimulate baby’s senses and improve brain development.
  • Develops a strong bond with parents and elder siblings.
  • Can calm and relax the anxious womb.
  • Science shows that reading to the baby in the womb helps to develop early language learning.
  • Being constantly aware of parents and siblings voice helps the baby to develop trust.

What are the useful tips to story tell a womb?

  • Read before sleeping this will calm the womb and help to understand the sleep cycle.
  •  Read stories from  books or you can pick some kids authors like eric carle, Dr. Seuss.
  • Audio stories are a great help, you can  listen to audios and connect to your womb, Droomplanet app is a great help in this as it is a free story app.
January 7, 2022 5 ways to Raise Strong Daughters

5 ways to Raise Strong Daughters

Strong Women Raise Strong Daughters

Biologically women get enough reasons in life to feel depressed. Many go through terrible mood swings during menstruation every month while for some there is postpartum depression which lasts for several months and some just never recover from it. By nature, a woman is a giver which raises her bar of expectations from others to be a giver as well and when these expectations are not met she feels emotionally exploited.

Are you an emotionally absent mom?

Dealing with Several children who were taken to counsellors and psychiatrists at a very young age and were diagnosed with emotional issues, when I traced their history I realised most of them were being raised by an emotionally disturbed mother who believed that life wasn’t fair to her.

And unlearning at this age is very difficult so I would highly recommend parents to raise emotionally stronger girls who when put to test of life know how to shine. Who has the confidence of winning their battles independently and not someone who is in constant hunt of a shoulder to cry on. Also, girls who make their own decisions as a result of which don’t look for reasons to blame others when things don’t go their way. It is not about raising ill-tempered or disrespectful girls but it is about raising girls who value self-respect.

Strong Women images5 Tips for Raising strong girls

  1. Make them active and agile – Good amount of physical activity is the best way to release feel-good hormones in the body. Girls need to go out in the ground, run, sweat, exert to feel more confident about themselves.
  2. Boost their self-esteem by letting them know their strengths.
  3. From beginning guide them to find solace in little things of life– be it creating something new or spending time with nature or reading their favourite author or playing a musical instrument or dancing their heart out. They must know their quiet zone where they can enter to escape the outside chaos rather than wasting time and energy in looking for someone else to heal them.
  4. Having open discussions about their emotions and letting them understand that it is natural. Each one goes through a variety of emotions at different stages of life but it is essential to guide our emotions for a quality life and not let our emotions guide us all the time. If they are frustrated on someone they must need to identify that they have tremendous pent up energy which needs to be channelised and put to something more constructive.
  5. Role model– Mothers to young girls must be emotionally strong women themselves who these girls can look up to. Seeing their mom with tears in their eyes at the drop of a hat might fetch short-lived sympathy but ruin a beautiful life in making. So first mothers need to find that peace and harmony within themselves only then they can raise stronger girls.

Though I am a mother to a boy, but this blog comes from my mom’s experiences while raising me up and I shall always be grateful to her for raising me the way she did.

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